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Frank Ritter: When any moment feels special, please save it
Adam Shanks, a military policeman in the U.S. Army Reserves, was married in June 2002, knowing that he was going to be deployed to the war in Afghanistan within two weeks.
As he and his fellow reservists were getting ready to go, they were able to visit Ground Zero in New York City. You know, where the two towers were demolished on Sept. 11, 2002, another day that will live in infamy.
During that final day before going off to war, Adam was privileged to talk with a New York police officer. The officer gave him and his fellow reservists a piece of granite from Tower II that was destroyed.
"During Adam's final leave home," says his mother, Cassie Wells of Cookeville, Tenn., "he handed me one of the pieces of granite and asked me if I knew of anyone who might be able to make a surprise Christmas present for his wife. He was very specific in what he wanted: A simple teardrop shape from the stone."
"My husband and I immediately thought of a jeweler we had worked with in Smithville, Tenn.," Wells said. "Ironically, the jeweler asked a friend of his from New York to help him with the project and perform the stone cutting for the necklace.
"On Christmas Eve, which is our traditional time to celebrate the holiday and exchange presents and gifts with family members, we presented my daughter-in-law with the box that held the necklace.
"Being apart from each other on their first Christmas as newlyweds, she started to cry before opening it, realizing it was from her husband, our son. As she opened the box, she knew immediately what the stone represented and how beautifully it was made.
"It was amazing how was well choreographed and perfectly timed all of the events were to make this happen."
Thankfully, Adam came home safely in April 2003, but he remains on "high alert" and can be called back to war on a moment's notice.
Such moments of importance in our lives are difficult sometimes, at first, to recognize. Then, to capture. How do we do it? Letters? Photo albums? Audio or video tapes?
Wells tries to remind people of that task. I also do that — it's one of my themes. I tell people about the value of keeping a diary. Or even writing letters to family and friends. And if you have the capability of writing a family history, even a novel based on the facts you know, then more power to you. Let it be written with your creative instinct.
"How often," says Wells, "have we wondered what type of gift to give a person 'who has everything'?"
Well. I have thought about that. I dislike gift-giving. The on-demand type of giving. Christmas, birthdays, even Mother's Day. Or, in my case, Father's Day — because I don't need anything; I've got everything. Just give me something you can't buy in a store.
What would it be like to have a letter from your long-lost, long-deceased grandmother? I have two of those. In fact, I keep every letter I receive, and I have all of those I ever got from my 13-year-old sweetheart when she and I were in the ninth grade.
"But later on in life," says Cassie Wells, "Our elderly need to have a voice that would span generations. It's a gift of transcription that could be given to expectant mothers, at Christmas, Valentine's Day, Mother/Father's Day, baby/bridal showers, weddings, birthdays and so much else."
The possibilities are endless. (Wells, 1-931-260-5025 in Cookeville, can give advice.) I wish I had known about her service a long time ago.
We think, for example, about Memorial Day, which is coming up a few weeks from now. In the rural mountains, where I grew up, we called it "Decoration Day." And we all went out that day to decorate the graves of our loved and departed. It was a joyous occasion and, like a homecoming, was where we were able to see, meet and greet the loved ones from far away whom we hadn't been with in a long while. I'd give anything to have a video tape or an audio transcription or even written notes about what happened on those occasions.
Let me warn you: If we don't write it down, transcribe it, record it, video it, whatever, we are going to lose it and won't be able to pass it on to our children and grandchildren.
Which is another way of saying, "Don't ever throw away any memorabilia!" Preserve it!
Legacies of Love preserves memories
Cookeville resident Cassie Wells has opened a home-based business designed to help clients preserve family history and memories. She offers two products: Legacies of Love is the deluxe version, and Letters of Love are shorter, one page letters intended as a special-occasion gift.
Each package results in a personalized message derived from interviews. The basic package is delivered in a presentation folder, and the deluxe package is presented in a scrapbook.
All are personalized according to the client's wishes, and the deluxe package may include photos and voice messages.
"I think the most important gift we can give to people we love is the story of our lives," said Wells. "The power of our feelings can span generations and should be shared with those we love."
The idea for her business came out of her experiences.
"When I was a young mother and money was tight, for Mother's Day or other special occasions I would look through family pictures, find poems that matched my feelings, and put them all together as a gift! I guess I was scrapbooking before scrapbooking was cool!"
For 13 years, Wells worked for a bank in the Midwest in the field of development and training. Subsequently, she worked for six years as a medical transcriptionist.
She emphasizes her writing experience and education in the fields of self-improvement, leadership, team building, interpersonal and business training, which led her to form Legacies of Love in hopes of helping others tell their personal stories or redefine a relationship through a Letter of Love.